Once upon a Saturday dreary, of my car I became weary,
Over many a quaint and curious web site did I explore,
While I browsed, the clock is ticking, on the mouse pad I was clicking,
Soon I had found myself picking, picking from their online store.
"'Tis a nice one," I muttered, "here at Carmax's online store -
I'd buy that one, off the showroom floor."
Ah, distinctly I remember, it was the close of November,
If only now I could dismember any thought of going to the store.
Eagerly I drove down Glenwood, hoping, wishing, my trade-in would
Fetch the price that bluebook said would let me buy a new one, or...
Perhaps my credit's good enough for me to spend some more!
Quoth the Ranger, "for sure!"
Now the time has come to pay, and get the paperwork out of the way,
The manager did come and say my license had expired months before.
This, right here, is just an ID, surely it isn't legal, you see?
I looked closer and said, "Oh, Gee! Well, I guess I have another chore."
I'll take my car and end this little chore...
Quoth the DMV, "Nevermore."
Monday dawns a new day shining, here I am already pining,
hoping they are not declining, rubber-stamping license forms galore.
Now I drive to northern Raleigh, to the capital DMV,
At the counter, there's a lady, saying that I do need something more.
There's a form for proof that you're insured...
Can I fax it? "Nevermore."
It seems their fax machine is broken, I was hoping for a token,
"Sorry, the machine is croakin', there's a copy shop a block or more."
No such luck, I had to drive to get some proof of where I live,
A banking statement that would jive, and then a trip to Kinko's, what a bore.
I call Geico, then the machine roars,
DMV: 1. That's the score.
Now I'm waiting, back in line, I hope that I will still have time,
It's early, yet, for lunch, sublime! I just need to pass a test or four.
Uh-oh, there's the lady I saw, she says there's another flaw,
I just had to gasp in awe, Geico sent the info from the year before.
Once again, the faxing? This means war!
Quoth the DMV, "Go get more."
Yet again I'm on the phone, knowing now that I am prone,
To large call volumes (so I groan), But finally a fax peeks from the door.
Worriedly I'm driving back, wondering what else I lack,
Surely there'll be no flack! It makes me wonder what's in store...
I take the written test and pass (by four...)
Quoth the DMV, "But wait, there's more!"
I have passed the written test, all that's left that could be messed,
Is just driving, why be stressed? But I can't help but think there will be gore.
I'm rewarded with the words, "Your state inspection's for the birds!"
And so what I thought was absurd has happened, yes, that means there's something more.
My car must be inspected... (Lock the door!)
With the last, 3 is the score.
You know that's not all the facts, my registration's at Carmax,
It's in the glovebox (I was lax), I needed to retrieve it there, once more.
I go to the dealer quickly, feeling just a little sickly,
Then I get that feeling (prickly!), that there's something else I can explore.
They do state inspections... score!
Now I head right back for more.
Finally I'm driving 'round, a grading passenger I have found,
Thankfully, he doesn't frown, (although there wasn't much of a rapport).
I get my picture taken there, it's not the best, but I don't care,
At least I'm done (with some fanfare), I guess it's time to find my car next door.
Time to finish what we did before...
Will I do that again? Nevermore.
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